Critic #1: Diana
I like the first model, emulates the visual well. The colors are really cool too.
But the size of the boxes seem to correspond with the amount of text written.
August also seems to be abbreviated in the model, so maybe your's should also be. I like the second model a lot, but the text should be more spread out.
While I agreed with a lot of Diana's critiques about my model, I ended up making a completely new time model based on a different part of my visual language. However, I did space the text slighted so that it would not look as clustered.
revisions:
Critic #2: Marilyn
The model definitely follows your visual and color model, but people might
have trouble figuring out the flow of your model. What is your timeline trying to
show? The information shown might be a little much, cutting it down to simplify and convey the information can be powerful to really show other people without detracting what they are looking at. Maybe taking the model on the left side of the visual model to emulate a timeline would work instead of putting years. Including a short title to include what happened during that time might work, but also be able to tie back into your layout model to make sure it fits proply, with the text as well.
Marilyn gave me very good critiques and suggested making my time model to be based on the information I wanted to display. While time and year was an important aspect to include, I didn't want chronology of years to affect what I wanted to show, so I made a vertical model instead of a horizontal model to represent my timeline, including it with short titles, and less, but relevant information.
revisions:
Critic #3: Estelle
The colors are interesting, theres no symbol on the left side like the visual model.
Theres also a lot of space between the text that needs to be filled up.
I don't like the gradient on the second version as much because the color doesn't make as much sense. maybe if the line were blocks of colors rather than gradient.
I ended up not using any gradients and sticking to one color, based on my visual model's color of the right grey box. I filled up the text by placing the headers closer so there isn't as much white space.
revisions:
Critic #1: Cindy
The model looks good, follows your visual and color model well. However, the typography doesn't exactly match the typography you are using. Some of it look a bit too wide compared to the model. The picture also needs to look more oldish, like having burns on the side also having a border on the picture.
Cindy suggested that I change the typography to match the original typography model. I'm still in the process of finding a typography that looks more similar. For now, though, I have been sticking to the adobe default Myriad Pro as the sans serifs are similar. I also added a yellow border to the picture.
revisions:
Critic #2: Estelle
I think the picture should also have a border because it looks kinda boring and
flat without it. You might want to test it out on your layout model because it could
look a bit boring depending on what's around it.
Estelle suggested adding a border to the picture to make it less boring, so I added a yellow border. I am also looking for a new layout model that could work with a vertical
revisions:
Time Element & Critiques
Critic #3: Jacob
The picture is interesting, could use a border. The format is good, works the same
as your visual model, but the header is a little confusing. The timeline isn't exactly
about the history of Laos, but about the war that happened, so maybe making a more meaningful title that fits with your topic.
I added a border like Jacob suggested. I also changed the header too so that the context of the timeline makes a bit more sense as to what it is describing.
revisions:
This timeline shows a brief history of Laos since 1945 up until the fall of the Royal Lao government, backed by the United States, against the Communist Pathet Lao, backed by North Vietnam. The war occurred in the midst of the Vietnam War and the First Indochina War. Also between 1964 and 1973, the Unites States dropped over half a million bombs, making Laos the most heavily bombed country per capita in history.
How this element exploits the visual potential of time: This element exploits the visual potential of time by using relative positioning along a line as well as structuring a timeline box progressing from top to bottom.
How this element emulates the models:
To emulate my color model I kept the same dark to light red colors used in the model and incorporated them into my model.
To emulate my visual language model I use black block figures to display text information inside about the subtitles above them. I also used a tan border to emulate something similar to a picture frame. I also used a realistic picture on the top of the element and color corrected it to look like an older, worn out picture.
To emulate my typography model I used a similar typography of sans serif along with the same boldness for headers and regular text using Myriad Pro typography, and really emphasized the main header by making a lot bigger than the other text.
Sources/Credit: <http://legaciesofwar.org/about-laos/secret-war-laos/>
